Most parents today understand the complexities involved with disciplining their children, complexities that didn’t exist in previous generations; once upon a time, a parent’s biggest fear lay in determining how far their kids could roam in a given street or playground.
Today, children are more interested in surfing the internet than jumping about in the sandbox. And the World Wide Web is a playground far too large for any parent to truly control or even supervise.
Consider the fact that children as young as four have greater access to the world than you ever did within that age bracket; and this world that they are choosing to interact with can just as easily reach out to them.
When it comes to exerting a sense of control over their child’s access to the world, it is essential that parents take the time craft strong bonds with their children at an early age, if only to acquire that coveted role of trusted advisor, a role that can prove crucial when it comes to issues of discipline.
Disciplining Without Distress
Discipline as it was known in earlier generation has lost its relevance today; traditional methods are most likely to destroy any influence you might have over those children who might need your guidance.
Discipline today is less about harsh punishments for wrong doings and more about prevention; reactive punishments might deter children from repeating negative habits but they will not nurture alternative habits.
Parents are often so engrossed with inundating their child with directives that they never consider their child’s inability to retain all those orders and commands about behavior in polite society; there is also an element of emotion to consider. A number of parent today know enough to avoid confronting their children while they are still overwhelmed by anger.
Taking the time to calm your emotions will allow you to bring a level head to a situation, ensuing that you not only tackle your child’s negative behavior but the emotions which might be involved. If your child responds to your prohibitions by kicking and screaming, it would be in your best interests to prioritize the emotions behind this reaction as opposed to simply chastising the actions.
Some professionals have suggested permitting your child to have their outbursts, and only once they have calmed down should you then attempt to make them understand the negativity of their actions. Most children will follow your will if you command them, no matter their beliefs or feelings on any given matter. However that isn’t likely to bring about transformation.
Understanding your child’s emotions and including them in finding solutions for expressing their frustration in a less destructive manner will allow both of you to progress with regards to understanding one another, even while building a powerful foundation for your relationship.
Of course, you have to keep in mind that it is within a child’s nature to act up; and in some cases, the onus might be on you to increase your tolerance for their actions, so long as they are not being violent or destructive.
On the whole, expressing your frustration through a display of anger such as yelling is discouraged; after all you are doing the exact things you have chastised your child about. Try to model behavior that you would like your children to imitate. Show them that one can feel exasperated but remain calm. You are more likely to bring about a change in behavior this way.
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